“What’s your word for the year?” That’s a question I began hearing over the past couple of years. I haven’t given it too much thought until listening to a short message online about moving forward in your spiritual identity. The pastor speaking suggested praying a prayer, asking God to reveal to what He has put inside of you that He wants you to discover. Following with this prayer, I prayed,

“ Lord, what is something you have put deep inside of me that YOU want me to discover; that is in my nature; that I am wired with; that YOU want me to dig into? What is it that YOU want me to learn to disciple, be discipled, and disciplined in, so that I can connect, love, and serve with; in order to move forward in my spiritual identity and do what I have been created to do?”

The idea of having a word for the year is, that you pray and ask God to reveal a word, or topic He would like you to focus on or grow in. That prayer I prayed sounds like a lot, it’s a bit of a jumbled up thought, but the Lord knows my heart better than I do. Still, I actually got a “word” out of it all! “Discover.”

I like the idea of having a word for the year better than a New Year’s resolution! I didn’t exactly ask for a word when I prayed, but I received one.

God never told anyone to pick or pray for a word of the year to focus on. However he did say,

“ … People do not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God.” Matthew 4:4 NLT

”…He did it to teach you that people do not live by bread alone; rather, we live by every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord“. Deuteronomy 8:3 NLT

I’m not saying I heard an audible voice that said, “Discover…” However, the word did resonate with me on a deep level. I know God still speaks to people, including me, if they have a heart open to receive what He has for them.

Yesterday at church, Pastor preached about what the early Church looked like, relating it to the Church today. Not just a particular church or denomination, but the Church as a whole.

The Book of Acts tells us,

”All the believers devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching, and to fellowship, and to sharing in meals (including the Lord’s Supper), and to prayer. A deep sense of awe came over them all, and the apostles performed many miraculous signs and wonders. And all the believers met together in one place and shared everything they had. They sold their property and possessions and shared the money with those in need. They worshiped together at the Temple each day, met in homes for the Lord’s Supper, and shared their meals with great joy and generosity— all the while praising God and enjoying the goodwill of all the people. And each day the Lord added to their fellowship those who were being saved.“ Acts 2:42-47 NLT

What stood out to Pastor as he was giving this message was “fellowship.” Fellowship is the best way to translate the Greek word that is actually used here, yet there is no English equivalent.

This original Greek word is koinonia. Which means, an intimate sharing of one’s self with another.

The Church has lost its ability to fellowship or koinonia as they were intended to. The Church should have a deep connection with one another by understanding, and sharing in the needs, desires, and dreams of each other. With everyone’s busy lifestyle and priorities set elsewhere, it is difficult to have that type of connection.

Attending a church service on Sundays out of routine or obligation and maybe a small group during the week calling it a Life Group, that’s more like a social club, isn’t the type of fellowship the early church had. It isn’t really a group doing life together like the example given in Acts. Nobody is truly getting to know each other on a deeper level, in the world or in the Church!

This message really hit home with me! I’m really lacking that koinonia in my life with others. Honestly, I believe I always have. For whatever reason, I’ve never been good at making those connections. It is easy for me to fade into the background, be selfish with my time and disconnect from others. Connecting with people is hard work and it wears me out! It is risky and often scary. I even have times with my own family when I find it hard to connect.

Still, I have a hole, an empty space inside me that needs to be filled. I believe everyone has that space that needs to be filled. God intentionally placed it there for Jesus to fill. I’ve known that all along and often use that analogy wen speaking about salvation. Having a Jesus shaped space that we try to fill with everything but Jesus, leaves us feeling empty. Only Jesus can fill the space that was created for Him! Too often we are standing on the shores of life searching for something that will come our way to fill the emptiness, with out listening the whispers of our heart, that speaks the name of Jesus.

I’m beginning to understand there is more to filling that void in my heart. It may not be a one time thing. It is a process that is continuous. When the Holy Spirit of Jesus Christ resides in our hearts we begin to have a desire to yield to the Lord and what He wants for our life. His desires become ours.

When desires are met we feel gratitude. When we fail to have desires met, we feel emptiness. When we find satisfaction, gratification, or pleasure in the Lord He will place desires in our heart, it’s a continuous circle!

”Delight yourself also in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.“. Psalms 37:4 NKJV

So as I’m digging deeper into what God has placed inside me, I am discovering that even though Jesus’ Holy Spirit resides in my heart He is continuing to create a bigger space that needs to be filled. He’s already blessed me with the ability to create and write, ( I’ve been blessed with the time to do a lot of painting and writing lately. There must be a reason for that.) not unlike Him, as I am His daughter. It’s time to follow His lead more closely.

Perhaps, it’s time to share more of what He has given me to fill the empty space with koinonia. Using what I have to make those connections. That’s an extremely frightening thought for me, but the lack of fellowship, real godly fellowship, quite often creates such an ache. How bad do I want that ache to be relieved?

”A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: And there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.“ Proverbs 18:24 KJV

I’ve been made aware that I may come off as unfriendly or not easily approachable and honestly, I don’t always care. Navigating small talk and pleasantries, provokes social awkwardness and anxiety. For some reason I suppose you have to break through that ice before you get any deeper with anyone. Something I really need to pray more about.

”I realized that no one can discover everything God is doing under the sun. Not even the wisest people discover everything, no matter what they claim.“ Ecclesiastes 8:17 NLT

In the mean time, I’ll continue to spend the year or longer discovering what other hidden gems God may have in store for me in order to move forward in my spiritual identity. I know I’ll never know everything, but my hope and future depend on going on that treasure hunt to discover all that He has for me each day and to discover what He has already placed inside me that I didn’t even realize. What an adventure 2024 may be! What have you discovered lately?